Strange feeling, or acrossing the border

The owner of Café Fika (in Shizuoka city) mentioned that the strong flavor of good espresso can be “strange feeling” (or unconfortable feeling). I liked it not only because I shared the same feeling (signifié) with different expression (signifiant) like “irritating smell,sticking in the bottom of the tongue”, but also he showed a sophisticated way of drifting the signifié of usual word. A poetic language should be like this, I think.

These 3-4 years I’ve been quite sensitively feeling 2 types of “strange feeling”, especially after quiting job at a company and started working as self-employed, which I can control what to do and who to meet  — one is in literal meaning, another is in “espresso” meaning as above. Sometimes I avoid it, or jump into it, depending on the content or context, so I have been knitting my life with destiny as vertical string and free will as horizontal. Sometimes I mistake and skip the line, but kept knitting it as my “strange feeling” allows.

There are several types of strange feeling. Meeting a guy.. yeah he is good person and has talent talking, but … strange feeling. Hey, do you run web shop? Then sell this with this manner, you’ll get money! Hmm… strange feeling. Even I should admit some of that feeling come from my tiny pride, but sometimes, heavy “strange feeling” (definitely positive one) hits my heart, like the crazy spanish guy with whom I suppose to work together in 2012, and other cool guys who are kind of trigger for me to concentrate on my current job.

Today, I did not meet a person, but a phrase.

「今後こっからどれだけ日本人っていうものを世界に知らしめていくか。やっぱりそれが今後の日本人のテーマ。僕たちに課せられた使命なんじゃないかというふうに思います」

byサッカーの本田氏。

この言葉を見つける数日前に、自分の来年のテーマは何なんだろうなぁと考えていて、やっぱり「越境」だろうな、「越境」しか無いなと思っていたわけです。しかしここにも違和感・・自分は越境しないと価値を生み出せないと思う、でも、それだけ?何のために、何をもって、越境するの?という疑問があるわけです。そこに上の言葉が刺さった。マシンでがっつり抽出したエスプレッソですっきりしました。「越境」して、「日本人っていうものを世界に知らしめていく」。これ、少なくとも2012年いっぱいのテーマにしようと思ったところです。

This post is also available in: Japanese


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